My Advice to You

Right now, you are in the blissful part of the relationship. He is texting all day, complimenting you, perhaps already saying that he loves you. Maybe he's already met your young daughter, and has told you that he will help you with her needs. Likely, he hasn't gotten blackout drunk yet in front of you, and he definitely hasn't told you about his criminal record, or that he was unfaithful to me, and his first wife, numerous times. In fact, I was (unknowingly) the other woman in his first marriage; he told me that they were separated but years later I learned that they were not separated until after he met me. (Just FYI, he and I are not divorced like he told you, but we are separated...even though there's no such thing as legal separation in Florida.)

Did you know that a few short days before talking to you, he was trying to get another single mom to commit to him? Telling her that he loved her from the first time he saw her, and promising to take care of her kids? He was even willing to move out of state with her. Did he tell you that the reason I kicked him out was because of his alcoholism, infidelity, and abuse? And that he left the kids and me for another woman back in the Spring? No, I'm betting that he told you I'm some crazy stalker wife, who also cheated on him (see, that was his story to me about his first wife).  Does he tell you that he has not called our kids at all since he left? And that he spent their SSDI money on bars, escorts, and cigarettes? Did he tell you that he hasn't paid child support to his first wife in months? 

There will come a day when he does get blackout drunk, and probably punch holes in the wall. One day he will scream at you irrationally, maybe even shove you over a couch or hold a tomahawk to your throat while he says "I could kill you if I really wanted to." Perhaps he will even drive drunk again, and get his third DUI; or proposition your friend for sex. Maybe your daughter will do something that irritates him and he will scream at her. When he does any of those things my advice to you is get out. I should've gotten out years ago, and once I asked myself "Would I want a guy to treat my daughter the same way? Would I want my son to treat a girl this way?", the answer became clear. 

I'm sure you'll hear stories about me, likely all false, and that's fine. One day you'll track me down to ask questions, the same way I did with his first wife; and I will answer your questions, and let you know that I've been there, I recovered, and that my life ended up remarkably better without him in it.