My Best

I needed to see this today. And I need to tell myself this every single day. Being a mother is a challenge. Homeschooling my children is a challenge. Being a wife and caregiver to my husband, an Army Veteran, is a challenge.....a big challenge, possibly the biggest challenge that I've ever faced. 

P, my husband, is in the beginning process of getting medically retired from the military. Now in addition to his regular medical and mental health appointments, he has appointments with the VA (several hours away). This means that my appointments are on the back burner, because I need him home with the kids when I'm at my appointments. And no, getting a sitter isn't an option because we simply cannot afford a sitter that often. 

I do the best that I can everyday, but some days (like today) I get overwhelmed with guilt that I am not doing enough, or doing the right stuff. I worry that I am not doing enough school with the kids (which is ridiculous, because they learn all the time and they are young). I worry that every parenting mistake that I've ever made, the kids will remember (again, ridiculous). I worry that the stress of being a caregiver will overtake my marriage. I worry about not having enough life to live my life. 

Don't get me wrong, I love my family and I love staying at home. I just feel stretched, like I have nothing more to give...but I can't stop giving. 

I ordered this book today, Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations fro Women. I plan to get up each morning and read it before the kids wake up. I have to do something peaceful for me, so that i can continue to give. 

Maniac Monday

In an effort to get myself to blog more, and get the worries on paper and out of my head, I am starting Maniac Mondays on here. I am going to type out every current worry that I currently have, then I will do my best to NOT worry about them for the rest of the week.

Money-Becoming a SAHM has been a bigger financial burden that we originally thought. I know it won't last forever, and it is truly worth it (for many reasons), but it sucks. I am restarting the Dave Ramsey plan and am determined to get us on track. And no, I don't do the couponing thing because honestly, we don't eat many foods that are coupon-able (yes, I made up that word). I *do* shop at a certain grocery store, and utilize the rewards card and all their sales. I could go on and on about money, but if I do then there won't be time for any other worries.

Parenting-I think that every decent parent worries that they are not a good parent. Do they watch too much TV? Am I giving them enough freedom? Do they have too much freedom? Am I too easy on them? Am I too hard on them? Seriously, these are only some of the questions that I ask myself everyday.

Marriage-Relationships are hard, including marriage. I don't care what anyone says, marriage is not easy. Balancing parenting AND marriage is even more difficult and complicated. Worth it? yes. Hard at times? Yes.

Pets-Yes, I worry about being a good parent to our pets. I worry about affording the best food, the best toys, and the best vet care for them. I worry about providing the best life for them, and making sure that they are happy and safe.

Body issues-Every. Single Day. CrossFit is helping but still, I really need to throw away our scale. Speaking of weight, I PR'd my power hang clean last week! I'm now up to 100 lbs :)

Ok, that's it for today. Now I have to get on with my day, including CrossFit.