So. Much. To. Do.

It's 5 days until my shoulder surgery, and I have so much to do. I need to come up with some easy to cook and eat meals for at least the first week when my husband will be cooking, cleaning, kid caring, basically everything including keeping me happy and comfortable. Not to mention all the laundry that needs to get done (I'd like him to start with a clean slate as far as laundry) and all the homeschool stuff.

Speaking of homeschooling, we received all of our supplies from Connections Academy on Tuesday night (2 nights ago). So I logged onto my Learning Coach home page that night and found out that they had been assigning stuff to Bella since MONDAY, so we were already like 11 lessons behind, UGH. Since I hate seeing the words "overdue lessons" we have been working hard to get caught up; as of now we only have 4 overdue lessons left, but by tomorrow we will have more since we didn't get to today's lessons. I am determined to get her caught up and even ahead before my surgery on Tuesday since I won't be teaching her on Tuesday or Wednesday, and my husband does't have the patience to teach her. Oh, and the kids are starting soccer next week so the husband will also have to be taking them to soccer practice while I am recovering.

An unexpected benefit of homeschooling has been that I actually have more patience with Bella in general. Seeing how she learns and how she gets frustrated so easily has given me a better appreciation of why she was so stressed in school, and why she needs ME to teach her at this point in time. We are also becoming closer because we spend a lot of time together, which we are both loving! She especially loves to ask me, several times though our the day during various activities, "are you mommy or are you teacher right now?"

Now if I can just get my eating and working out back on track, my life will feel pretty balanced...all in good time, though. I am being gentle with myself with that stuff since I have shoulder surgery and a venous closure coming up soon. The healthy eating will be back on track sooner because the husband and I will be doing Whole30 soon while my shoulder recovers. All I am focused on right now is getting through both procedures, and being 100% physically healthy again.

Homeschool Day 1

I really wanted to come up with a clever title for this, but it's almost 14:00 and I am just now sitting down for lunch because I am exhausted. I love it, though. I feel like quitting my job outside the home was the best decision for us right now, no matter how stressful it is financially.

My goal was always to start homeschooling the day after Labor Day but I'd hoped that I'd have the Connections Academy curriculum by now. Due to paperwork issues, B just got 100% enrolled today, so we don't have the materials yet; so today we were on our own :) Since the kids are very close to the same level academically, today was pretty easy and fun. I had downloaded several educational apps on my Kindle, so we read some online books, did numbers games, and did matching games. Then the kids rode their bikes for 35 minutes while i walked with them. B wasn't too sure about the whole school thing at first (she HATED regular school & was very stressed), but when she realized that it was fun, she was all in! B is also starting soccer tonight, so she will get to meet friends and interact with more kids which makes us both happy.

One of the things that I like about homeschooling is the flexibility, which is about to become very important to me. Our schedule is already going to be busy with homeschool, soccer, play dates (through the local homeschooling group), CrossFit (including my intern duties) and church, and it's only going to get worse when i have shoulder surgery on the 16th of this month. Yes, I am that crazy woman who is homeschooling 2 kids, taking care of 7 pets, and getting shoulder surgery. Yes, my husband will be helping some for the first week, but he also has a job in which he cannot take off a lot of time.  Hopefully I will feel okay enough to blog about my shoulder surgery.

Okay, so now I need to get ready to take the kids to the grocery store and shopping for soccer stuff for tonight. I really think I might need a hot bath tonight.

Life Overhaul

So today, I am starting the 21 Day Fix with a friend of mine. It's a Beach Body Program, but I am not a BB rep nor did I did buy the product. The great thing about the internet is that you can find basically anything for free :) So, I found a calorie calculator for it, some awesome tracking sheets, the measurements for all of the containers, and some recipes. The only thing that I couldn't find were the workout videos, but that's ok since I will be going to CrossFit everyday (the thought of 21 straight of CrossFit is kind of intimidating but whatever, I need it). I'll post before and after results when it's over. Yes, I know that a quick 21 fix isn't a permanent fix, but it's a great jumpstart for me and it will help me to get back into a healthy routine.

Along with getting back on track with eating and working out, I am also giving up alcohol for those 21 days. That is something that really needs to be done because my nightly wine consumption is not helping my waistline or my sleep.

Something else that I am implementing is an actual daily schedule. It's in the planning stages right now, but I know that it will start with me getting up no later than 0700 and going to bed (as in lights out) no later than 2200....now I just have to figure out the detailed parts in between. I need time for chores, errands, cleaning the gym, working out, nap (for the kids), and playing with the kids and dogs. Ideally I'd also like some beach time 3 times a week, too, especially since the summer tourist crowd is thinning. Oh, and once the school year starts there will need to be some time scheduled for homeschooling.

So here's hoping that I can stick with these healthy changes and a daily schedule!

Kids' Bedroom is DONE

The kids have never really had a decorated room. In Colorado, I had 10 days to prepare for them moving in, so they had necessities but not decor. When we moved here, they were originally sleeping in the now playroom, and my brother in law and his wife (best sister in law EVER) were living with us and sleeping in the kids' now bedroom. When they moved out, we moved the kids in there but didn't know how to decorate it. The kids share a bed and a room (their choice), so decor had to please both of them. They picked out bedding, but then we didn't get any further....until now :)

Here are some before pictures:

And here are the after pictures :) To say that I am THRILLED is an understatement!

The green wall is Jax's wall. They each got to pink a wall color for one wall, and he picked green. He also loves Daleks. 

This is Bella's wall-she loves pink, princesses and Doctor Who.

That is the exploding TARDIS print....yes, we have little Whovians :)

They picked out this bedding from Target. They like is because the blue robots remind them of the Cybermen from Doctor Who. 

Better view of the Dalek poster. 

Their before bedtime books :) 

They agreed on this toy organizer for their bedroom. They also agreed that the toy organizer for the playroom will be Cars themed.

They've had this book shelf since we first gained custody of them <3

They now have their own space, that they partially decorated and gave opinions about everything. It makes them happy and makes me so very happy. They'd better like it for years to come because this momma is so not repainting any time soon....so much paint on me! 

Next mission, finish the trim work in the hallway! Mission "make this house into a home" is 100% underway!

Bathroom Update

Here are the pictures of our 1.5 baths after I painted and updated them yesterday. I am so happy with the results! I am not a decorator, but I know what I like and finally, after 2 years I am getting it all put together. These are the full/master bathroom. LOVE!

And now here is the half bath. It is really simple, and no shelving. I'll add shelving eventually but right now, there is no need for shelving.

Currently, the kids use this bathroom the most, but long term plans are to decorate this in a pub style...hence the Guinness poster.

Today I am finishing the kids' bedroom, and I will have before pictures of their room. Here is a teaser picture of the redo :)

Making a House a Home

Life has been busy and I have felt disorganized and out of sorts, so I've decided to do something about it. Lets start with the house....

We've been here about 2 years but it's still not put together at all, and it's been driving me crazy. I feel like we can't have friends over because I am embarrassed about how it looks. Granted, our yard sucks too, but at least we have some patio furniture and a grill so I'm ok with the backyard for now. Well, I decided to do something to start getting the house in order.

Yesterday I decided that the bathrooms, kids' bedroom, and the playroom HAD to get 100% put together, and soon. So, I painted the master bathroom a gleaming shade of white and talked to the kids about colors for their bedroom (more on that in a minute). I know what y'all are thinking "Ooooo, gleaming white, so daring" (while rolling your eyes), and yeah I know that white walls aren't for everyone, but I love simple, minimalist bathrooms. I don't like all the jars full of Qtips, cotton balls, etc everywhere on shelves and counters. I don't like lots of patterns and stuff in small spaces, and I don't like dark walls or dark accents in bathrooms. So in our master bathroom, this is the center of attention

I bought this years ago when we lived in Colorado, and I still love it. Now that the walls are gleaming white, the colors in it stand out even more. I bought these a few months ago (there's also a soap dish) and LOVE them! (well, the kids broke the cup but that's no biggie, shit happens when kids handle breakables)

I bet you're wondering why I don't show a picture of the entire bathroom...well, that's because it's dirty right now, including the painting supplies, and I'm too lazy to clean it at the moment. Any way, I am happy with the master bathroom for now. Still need to get a couple of towel rods, and eventually I'd like to replace the light fixture but that is down the road. BTW, here is a link to the shower curtain that I bought at WalMart-I like it and it was cheap! The half bath just needs a fresh coat of white paint, a trash can, and a new rug-easy peasy!

Next up is the kids' bedroom. A, our 6 yr daughter, and J, our 4.5 yr old son, share a room and a full size bed. They want it that way, so that way it shall stay. They literally refuse to get separate beds or rooms, so it kind of makes things easy. This is their bedding (they jointly chose it):

Additionally, they have the window toppers to match the bedding, Doctor Who posters (framed) and a closet with curtains instead of doors. I'm happy with the decor so far, but the walls badly need painting. So I talked with the kids and we decided that 2 small walls would be eggshell color, and they would each get to pick a color for 1 of the remaining walls. B wants her wall to be pink and J wants his wall to be green, so that's what they will get! We are going to get paint today, and I will paint all the walls today and tonight. After the painting, the room will only need mini-blinds, a toy chest, and a second dresser. We bought the first dresser from Target, and with much cussing and alcohol, I finally got it together, so I made the decision that I will not be doing that again. Instead, I will be trolling Craigslist, yard sales, and thrift stores until I find a second dresser and a toy chest. The kids are so excited to have their room complete, and so am I!

Lastly, the kids' playroom needs to get finished...that is gonna be a chore. Here are a couple of pictures from a few months ago (pay no attention to the headboard, footboard, etc-those are gone now).

It needs a second coat of yellow paint, mini-blinds, curtains (for the window and closet), wall decor (I'm thinking Disney posters), a chalkboard area (they love chalk), a new rug, more organizing baskets, a full size bed (to replace the stained couch) with lots of large couch pillows so that the kids can use it as a couch. For now, I will settle for the paint, curtains, and rug. 

While I am redoing that part of the house, I am also hanging curtains (already purchased) in the TV room and looking for 2 "new to us" couches. After I am done with the bathrooms and kids' rooms, I'll start working on trim work in the hallway, then changing one of the paint colors in the family room and hallway. *sigh* Maybe I can get done with the whole house by Thanksgiving. 

There ya have it, my house redoing plans for the next couple of weeks. I will be sure to post some before and after pictures. 

Why Endometriosis and PCOS Suck (aka, why I haven't been able to CrossFit for over a week)

So today is both a whine, an explanation, and a request for any non-surgical, non-hormonal suggestions for treatment.

Background: As discussed in a previous post, I have endometriosis. I was diagnosed with stage 4 endo years ago and have had 2 surgeries for it. My most recent surgery was in early 2013 and the surgeon cleaned out all visible adhesions, as well as a portion of a damaged ovary (I have PCOS as well). I had been on continuous birth control pills for both, but that raised my blood pressure (like to the low end of the high numbers) and caused acne, so I stopped those a few months ago.

Fast forward to this month...it has been not fun at all. Cramps, nausea and fatigue have been around in full affect. And for anyone who tells me that exercise helps menstrual cramps, i'll punch you. Ok, not really; but seriously, menstrual cramps are different from the pain and cramps associated with endometriosis and PCOS. Once those 2 symptoms went away, the fatigue associated with both diseases really set in this month and it has been awful. I mean, I've been so tired that I literally can't think straight and have slightly slurred speech. I've been doing my best at just keeping up with the kids, fur babies and housework, so CrossFit has definitely fallen by the wayside.

Tomorrow, I am determined to get to CrossFit and at least do one WOD and hopefully yoga. I really want to get back to my super, energetic, CrossFit self so if any of my fellow endosisters have suggestions, I am all ears.

Jamberry and Crossfit

Ok, so here is where I talk about Jamberry  and CrossFit and how, for me, they are great and kind of intertwined.

When we decided a couple of months ago that I would be a stay at home mom, I decided to become a Jamberry consultant. Well, life got in the way (sorry for the vagueness, but there are some things I agreed to not share publicly), so I am just now really getting into it. I have been wearing Jamberry wraps and lacquers for MONTHS and really like them! The wraps last, on me, about 10 days (and I am HARD on them-cleaning daily, CrossFit, and going to the beach) on my fingernails and more than 4 weeks on my toenails. The lacquer lasts over 5 days on my fingernails with no chips! Both the wraps and wraps are non-toxic and not tested on animals. Oh yeah, and there are Junior sized wraps for  children or for those with small nails :) Here are some pictures of the wraps that I have personally worn :)

I am looking to add people to my fabulous team and I'm always here to answer questions! Check out Jamberry's awesome lines of wraps and lacquers on my site!

So how does CrossFit play into all of this? Because CrossFit and Jamberry are 2 things that I believe in, and I am willing to sink my money, time, and name into them.  A company of non-toxic, not tested on animals, nail lacquers and nail wraps, that was started by a small group of women? AND that contain SO MANY FREAKING FABULOUS CHOICES?! SIGN ME UP!

As for CrossFit....a little background: At one point in time, I signed up to be a "coach" with another big name fitness program. I did it for the discount on their goods and because one of their programs got me down to a size 4 (I am 5'8") and 132 lbs. I was happy and looked good at that size, but I had to deprive myself of so much (like no alcohol, no bread, no sugar, no beer, and eat less than 1800 cal/day) and do so much cardio to maintain that size. Oh, and I was definitely not strong, not at all. Then came CrossFit, and the reality that I didn't HAVE to be a size 4, or even "skinny" to be awesome. See, previously not named company focuses only on weight loss, not on strength. There I was in my 30s and literally for the first time I started to focus more on the weight I was lifting rather than how much I weighed. I stopped counting calories and started reading labels. I stopped killing myself on cardio machines and started doing WODs that involved AMRAPs with weights and short bursts of cardio. I GOT STRONGER and I got happier. Am I 100% satisfied with how I look? No (and that is a deep rooted issue), but am I 100% satisfied with my workouts, coaches (like, actual in person, certified CrossFit coaches) and CrossFit friends? Yes, yes I am.

My CrossFit girlfriends and I talk about how much we can lift, not how much we weigh. We don't talk about what size clothes we wear, we compare the sizes of our hand callouses. We don't count calories, we count reps, double unders, and how fast we can row 500 meters. You know what all of that means? It means, that we constantly push each other to be stronger. It means that we stick around after WODs to cheer each other on, and to sometimes do another workout. It means that when any of us gets a PR (personal record) on a lift or skill, we ALL celebrate and congratulate.

The 2 paragraphs above, THAT is why I am studying and training to become a Level 1 CrossFit coach, and then a CrossFit Kids coach. I love that I walk into a WOD, and rather than feeling like other chicks are judging me, I feel a sisterhood (good lord that sounds cheesy-I blame the wine). I love that my kids literally cheer me on during some WODs and see mommy getting strong rather than Mommy trying to get skinny. And most of all, I love the personal pride that I feel when I hit a PR, or like this past week when I hit a few PRs. There is literally no greater high for me.

Maniac Monday

In an effort to get myself to blog more, and get the worries on paper and out of my head, I am starting Maniac Mondays on here. I am going to type out every current worry that I currently have, then I will do my best to NOT worry about them for the rest of the week.

Money-Becoming a SAHM has been a bigger financial burden that we originally thought. I know it won't last forever, and it is truly worth it (for many reasons), but it sucks. I am restarting the Dave Ramsey plan and am determined to get us on track. And no, I don't do the couponing thing because honestly, we don't eat many foods that are coupon-able (yes, I made up that word). I *do* shop at a certain grocery store, and utilize the rewards card and all their sales. I could go on and on about money, but if I do then there won't be time for any other worries.

Parenting-I think that every decent parent worries that they are not a good parent. Do they watch too much TV? Am I giving them enough freedom? Do they have too much freedom? Am I too easy on them? Am I too hard on them? Seriously, these are only some of the questions that I ask myself everyday.

Marriage-Relationships are hard, including marriage. I don't care what anyone says, marriage is not easy. Balancing parenting AND marriage is even more difficult and complicated. Worth it? yes. Hard at times? Yes.

Pets-Yes, I worry about being a good parent to our pets. I worry about affording the best food, the best toys, and the best vet care for them. I worry about providing the best life for them, and making sure that they are happy and safe.

Body issues-Every. Single Day. CrossFit is helping but still, I really need to throw away our scale. Speaking of weight, I PR'd my power hang clean last week! I'm now up to 100 lbs :)

Ok, that's it for today. Now I have to get on with my day, including CrossFit.

No Need to Hurry Fun

One of the perks of becoming a SAHM is that on days like this-cloudy, dealing with a migraine hangover, feeling tired-I don't feel like we have to do something fun to salvage the weekend. When I was working outside the home, I felt pressure to make Saturdays and Sundays fun, and if I didn't I felt a tremendous amount of Mommy guilt. The relief I feel to not have that guilt is wonderful.

I have a confession, we have not been homeschooling yet. I did a lot of research and asked many questions in FB groups regarding homeschooling and the overwhelming response was, don't do anything formal until they are 6 or 7 years old. This makes perfect sense to me!

When I was 5 yrs old, kindergarten was half a day, and it was filled with coloring, playing, some reading, and recess; so that is what I have been doing around here. We play games like CandyLand and Chutes & Ladders to help with numbers and colors. I read to/with them daily, and they watch some tv like Sesame Street and the Magic Bus. I've also been teaching them about gardening, and we even planted some seeds that are growing! And because of some tense times with our zoo of cats and dogs, they have learned some animal first aid, as well as how to take care of hurt pets. Since we make regular trips to the beach, they are also learning about tides, jellyfish, sharks, and all things ocean related. So far, this method of "teaching" has been working very well & the kids are actually enjoying learning new things.

So for now, we are going to enjoy the spring and summer months, make frequent beach trips, cook meals as a family (the kids love to help us cook), and then start some structured homeschooling in the fall.

NIAW-National Infertility Awareness Week

Today is the close of NIAW. I haven't written a specific NIAW blog post in a LONG time, for many reasons...but today I decided to write one.

Dr. Drew recently had a LoveLine episode in which he called endometriosis and IC "garbage bag diagnoses". He did this when a man called in with some concern about his fiancee, and Dr. Drew cut him off before the man could even ask his question. It was a huge reminder to me that many people, even so called doctors, do not understand endometriosis, and don't view it as a real problem. So people of the interwebz, here is my story about living with endometriosis (and PCOS because I have both, and I suspect that Dr. Drew doesn't believe that PCOS is a real disease, either).

From the time I first got my period, I lived in excruciating pain for the few days before, and the first few days during my period. I also got horrible pain during the middle of my cycle. My periods were any where from 7 days to 14 days long, and were extremely heavy. They never came at regular intervals, NEVER. I missed school regularly because I physically could not get out of bed. This pattern continued until I was 18 yrs old and was put on birth control pills.

Once i started taking birth control pills, symptoms improved for several years, but the symptoms were not gone. It took years of experimenting with different birth control pills to finally find one that helped. Periods were still VERY heavy, and still painful, but at least the mid cycle pain was lessened. I still missed class and work because of the pain of cramps, and general pain that went all the way to my knees, my lower back, and into my pelvic region. There was pain during and after sex. I became light headed due to pain and anemia due to heavy periods. In short, it was awful.

By the time I was almost 31 yrs old, I had met the love of my life and we decided to start trying to get pregnant. I did the responsible thing and went to a doctor to get a pre-baby making work up. This was the first time I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), and also the first time that endometriosis was ever mentioned as a possibility. Since the time I started seeing a gynecologist, no one had mentioned anything being wrong with me. All previous doctors told me that my symptoms were normal, and that some women just had "worse" periods than others. Hearing PCOS and endometriosis was like a kick to the chest. That doctor also told me that realistically, I would not get pregnant without help. I was not even 31 yrs old yet, I wasn't old....I was broken.

Over the next 5+ years, we went through treatments for infertility...all failed. We tried timed intercourse with infertility meds-both pills & injectables; 5 IUIs with pills & injectables; 1 fresh IVF; and 1 FET. Nothing worked. Before we had IUIs, I had surgery to look at my insides and was diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis, that was in 2009. I cried. I developed moderate-borderline severe OHSS during one of the IUI cycles. The injectable medications for IVF left me with extra weight, what seems to be a permanent belly pooch, and while i was taking them, a had a bruised stomach, crazy mood swings, and hot flashes.

In 2012, after enduring daily pain for over a year and numerous ruptured ovarian cysts, I had a second laparoscopic surgery. A huge cyst burst during surgery and I lost part of one ovary. The doctor also removed numerous endometrial adhesions, including some around my bowels. After surgery, I was on basic bed rest for almost a week due to pain. It was not something I look forward to dong again, but it WILL be something that I have to go through again...because a year after that surgery, my symptoms came back again. I tried birth control pills, but I couldn't take the weight gain, acne, and migraines. So for now, I eat a low gluten diet (it helps decrease my symptoms), avoid soy (other than the tasty edamame at our fave sushi place), and exercise regularly (love my family at CrossFit Above The Bar). My husband and I have 2 beautiful children (through kinship adoption), 5 large rescue dogs, and 2 crazy cats-my life is full and wonderful....but I still have not come to grips with the fact that I will never have a use for newborn clothes in our house, or experience breast feeding or a pregnant belly.

So Dr. Drew, no-endometriosis is not a garbage bag diagnosis and endometriosis IS pathological. It is an actual disease, with actual consequences, and actual symptoms. It causes real pain and real health issues. For you to say, to millions of listeners, that it is not real, is a lie.

Rough times

The past several days have been rough, for a few reasons. I felt like because of the rough times, that my parenting sucked. Tonight my kids gave me countless hugs & kisses, and said that I was the best mom ever. And, I didn't even give ice cream to them today. Maybe I'm doing better than I thought. 

Mirror, mirror, on the wall.....

Me on the right, 115 lbs, about 20 yrs ago (age 17-18)

Me-winter 2011 in Colorado Springs, 135 lbs, size 4

Me-May 2012, about 135 lbs, size 4 (after a Spartan race)

Me-10 mos ago, about 140 lbs, size 6

Me-last summer (?), no idea of weight or size

Me-Sept 2013, about 145 lbs, size 8? (not sure)

Me-March 2014, 150 lbs, size medium in workout clothes (no idea of my number size)

This is likely to be a long, rambling post about my personal body image issues....not sure what the point is, except that I feel like I need to get it out.

First of all, the fact that I am posting that last picture...I hate that picture. But, in order to write about body image, I need to share that with anyone who is reading this. I am currently about 150 lbs and am 5'8.5" tall. My measurements are 39-I don't know (really, I don't....I hate measuring my waist)-41. I love my breasts and hips, but the rest...not so much.  The fact is, I have never really been 100% happy with me body. Yes, there are times I have felt more attractive, sexier, more confident but I have never felt 100% confident, not even last summer when I was rocking that green striped bikini. 

I have struggled with body image since at least junior high; of course back then, I was too skinny and was frequently told that I needed to eat more (I ate A TON of food), and was asked if I had an eating disorder. My breasts and hips were basically nonexistent, in a sea of girl friends who had at least some curves. I was 115 lbs, tall, lanky, and had trouble finding clothes that would fit properly. 

Around age 20, all of that changed. Within a month, I grew half an inch, my bra size increased by 2 cup sizes, and I put on 5+ pounds. It was like I had finally hit puberty! I liked my new curves, but was still not happy with my body or my looks. Of course, a lot of that had to do with the severe cystic acne that I was dealing with as well. Thankfully, no one was ever rude to me about that, but I still have scars on my face and I can still very well remember how awful my skin was, and how much it physically hurt. Thank God for accutane, that cleared everything up in 3 months. Even after it cleared, I was still self conscious, and still styled my hair in ways to cover portions of my face (far framing layers were a godsend). To this day, I will not even go to the gym without wearing at least some make-up. 

In my 30s, I battled infertility and lost. My husband and I went through 5+ yrs of treatments, from clomid and timed intercourse, all the way to IVF and then FET. The treatments ravaged my body and spirit. I gained over 20 lbs (and losing weight is not easy when you have PCOS and endometriosis), became depressed, and felt like nothing was in my control. (During this time, my husband deployed for a year and we adopted 2 children via kinship care, so stress was HIGH.) I turned to exercise and dieting, in a big way. I would come home from work and do 60-90 minutes of cardio exercise DVDs. I restricted caloric intake, at one point was eating only 1400 calories per day. I lost the weight, and was a size 4 for the first time in years!!! I was thrilled and was determined to keep off the weight after my husband returned...of course, that didn't happen because maintaining a weight of 132-135 lbs meant that I could not eat my favorite things or enjoy beer very often. I also was not strong at all...enter CrossFit. 

My husband and I started doing the CrossFit WODs that were posted on the main CrossFit site, and I started trail running. I trained for a Spartan race, and finished it :) Soon after, we PCS'd (Military talk for the Army made us move) to Florida and by then I was recovering from a torn meniscus from not squatting properly during thrusters. I didn't do any real formal exercise for several months, well other than DVDs and then occasional running. Then, we joined a local CrossFit box, and I fell in love with the sport and the culture. 

As I am sure you have noticed, I have not lost weight while doing CrossFit....and deep down, I am ok with that fact. My diet has not been the best, and I have had some injuries (not CrossFit related) over the past year that have prevented me from working out consistently at times. But guess what? 

I can dead lift 140 lbs.

I can back squat 105 lbs and front squat 80 lbs.

I can bench press 95 lbs.

I can power clean 100 lbs. 

I can clean & jerk 85 lbs (that is AFTER a shoulder injury that sidelined me from lifting for about 5 months). 

Those are the weights I am training myself to concentrate on now. I will never be 135 lbs again. I will never be a size 4 again. And that is okay. Being healthy, strong, and enjoying life is more important than a label in a pair of jeans, or a set of numbers on a scale. (I remind myself of that every singe day...maybe one day it will stick.)

I Can Do This

I have been feeling very out of sorts since having the kids home full time and my husband home most of the day over the past couple of weeks. There hasn't really been any routine, so homeschooling, exercise, and eating healthy has gone out the window. Consequently, I feel gross, have had more body pain, and have been in a funk. The kids have also watching more TV than I normally allow, and that is something that I really do  not like.

So over the past few days I've started making plans. I have started the process of enrolling Bella into an online, public school. I will still be homeschooling her, but now I will have a curriculum and teachers to assist me. Starting Monday and until the school year starts, I will be using an all in one home school curriculum from this site. I will be using the pre-school & kindergarten curriculum with her, and the preschool curriculum with Jax since he will be going into public, free, pre-k in the fall. I really feel that I can get Bella caught up on reading and other kindergarten goals by working one on one with her. My goal is for both of them to be in regular, public/private school by the time each of them is in the second grade.

This morning I also meal planned for the next 10 days, and made a grocery list of everything that I need to buy for the meals. Knowing that I know what to make for the next 10 days is actually a big relief for me, and it means no more fast food or ordering in for supper, which will help our budget and help our health. I am making a workout plan which includes daily yoga through Daily Burn on Hulu-stoked that I found Daily Burn! Oh, and I ordered a Beach Body plan....will write more about that when I actually get it.

Seriously, I feel so much better after making some sort of plan and basic daily schedule. I feel like I have some sort of control over my life again, which is nice. Now if I could just get my legs healed, I could work out exactly how I want and when I want.

What the What

I withdrew B, our kindergartner from school. I had many issues with the school, the last one being that they lost her this past Friday and no one could tell me where she was for over 15 minutes. Outwardly, I was calm, but inside I was freaking out....how in the hell could they not know where a 5 year girl was?!

Now I am all "WTH WAS I THINKING?! HOW CAN I HOME SCHOOL HER?!" I want to do this, and I am committed to doing this, and my husband is supportive, and I have A LOT of friends who are providing me with resources....but wow, it is intimidating. It's so intimidating, in fact, that I ordered Homeschooling for Dummies and I will be reading it cover to cover starting tomorrow.  A friend also reminded me that natural things, such as shopping, can be teaching moments so I am trying to remind myself that I can make everything into learning moments. I know that this is best for her, I just have to figure out how to do it and how to make everything work.

I thought that staying at home would make me feel less like I was being pulled in a million directions, but truthfully I still feel pulled in a million directions. What's changed is that these new directions are all home/family/CrossFit related, so I feel passionately about all of them, which is both wonderful and trying. Adding to this is my trying to go green and save money on things...so yeah, I am feeling majorly pulled in so many directions.

So what's my plan you might ask? Well, I am taking this week to figure how the homeschool stuff, so no formal homeschooling this week. I will go to my local CrossFit box  every day for the rest of this week (so that will be 4 WODs and 2 yoga classes) and eat healthy so that I feel better and think more clearly. I will NOT freak out about B and home schooling at the moment, because that won't be productive and will just cause me to want to drink a case of pinot noir.

This gets easier, right? *sigh*

This job is so easy....

said no stay at home mom, EVER. Seriously, I had no idea how exhausting this would be. Don't get me wrong, I am NOT complaining at all-I am incredibly thankful to be able to stay home-but dear sweet baby Jesus, this is tiring. Today I slept in and our girl was almost late to school, so starting Monday this is how my schedule will look:

0530-Wake up with my husband, get his coffee going and get him out the door to work. Once he's gone, drink some coffee while I do my daily cleaning: sweep all floors, dust all rooms, empty dishwasher, clean out letterbox, wipe down bathrooms, empty any full trash cans.

0645-wake kids up so I can get B to school by 0750 (though that might change, I'll write about that in a separate post).

0800-0900-Breakfast for J and me, feed dogs & cats, start a load of laundry.

0900-11:15-I work online while J colors, practices his name, & plays with toys (all in the same room with me). Dogs play outside, while I pray that none of them escape the yard, AGAIN.

11:15-12:00-Lunch for J and me :)

12:00-14:00-Nap/quiet time for J while I answer email, watch House of Cards (or The Good Wife), play with dogs, deal with more laundry, clean up from lunch.

14:00-Leave home to pick up B from kindergarten.

14:30-15:45- Kids play & have snack (they totally miss each other during the day <3).

15:45-17:30-Make it to the 16:00 CrossFit class (except on Tues, I go to the 13:45 yoga class, then this CrossFit class), then hangout until the 17:30 class.

18:00-20:30-Homework with B, supper (for us and fur kids), bath time (for the kids), bed time routine and tuck them in by 20:30.

20:30-22:00-Finally have some alone time with my husband, then bed.


So now my friends, you see why I don't return calls/texts/emails/messages in a timely manner. I love y'all-i really do-but I am trying to figure out a routine that works and that allows me to pursue a flexible career in CrossFit and nutrition. *sigh* Send vodka, please.

So yeah, I heart CrossFit

That's me, in the green shirt, conquering my fear of heights.

I thought that I might as well go ahead and get this post out of the way because much of my time these days, and in the future, will revolve around CrossFit. What is CrossFit you might ask? Basically, it is a fitness program that focuses on functional movements and improving overall functional fitness. Everyday our workout changes (there are even WODs, workout of the day, posted on the main CrossFit page). We do things like rope climb, run, row, lift weights, flip tires, and generally have fun.

What brought me to CrossFit? Well, I got tired of exercising on my own and not getting the results that I wanted. I was lifting, but wasn't increasing enough. I was skinny, a size 4, but I was not strong. So I looked up CrossFit online and starting doing WODs on my own, and without a coach to watch me, I ended up with a torn meniscus. Fast forward about 6 months, we had moved to Florida and I found a CrossFit box that was affordable, had a kids' area, and was close to our home. We visited once and LOVED it. The head coach is former military, there are folks of all ages and fitness levels, and there are plenty of women members. Oh, and the coaching is GREAT-small classes at least 1 coach (usually 2) in each class, and lots of personal attention.

I have been at it for a year now, off and on (I've had a surgery & 2 non-CrossFit injuries that required time off), and I still love it. I have NEVER stuck with a fitness program this long. I have increased all of my lifts, my rowing has improved (I cannot run right now), I can climb a freaking rope(!) and my self esteem has improved. I've made friends who are like family to me. I love it so much, that I plan to become a certified CrossFit coach. We recently added yoga to our box so now I'll be doing that 3 times a week, too.

So now that I have that CrossFit love fest out of the way, what do you do to stay healthy/exercise?

Where do I begin...

I am jumping back into the blogging world after years away from it. It wasn't you, blogging world, it was me. Life got way too busy-working full time, moving across the country, being a Mommy, and attending to our 7 fur babies. Quite frankly, I didn't have much time for anything....but now that has changed.

As of last week, I am officially a SAHM. Wow, I cannot believe that I actually get to say that...I am a stay at home mom. For the past 20 years, I have held some sort of job-from working part time at Sears as a high school senior, to (most recently) working full time as a program manager for a non-profit. The most recent job was taking me away from family too much, and since my husband's job is not traditional and he does not work "normal" hours/shifts, it all became too much. The strain was evident in our marriage and in our kids, especially in our kindergartener-she needs more individual help with school than I was able to give while working full-time.

So here I am, a new stay at home mom to a kindergarten daughter, B, and a 4 year old son, J, and guardian of our 5 crazy dogs and 2 scheming cats. There is truly never a dull day in our home, and now I finally have time to share those stories (and others) again.