Rough Patch

*On the random chance that anyone reads this but doesn't follow me on Twitter or FB, my husband and I split. I am 100% on my own with our kids and pets since he moved across the country.

First of all, I want to say upfront that this is not a post to bash MLM (multi-level marketing) companies, direct sales/marketing businesses, etc. I know friends who make great money with these companies, and they are awesome people. When I have money again, I promise to buy products from some of you because really, I love some of the stuff that you sell! I miss buying Jamberry wraps. I want a 31 bag for the gym. I definitely want to try some of the Younique make up because holy shit, I think it might actually cover my acne and acne scars that I am so self conscious about.

I've made no secret that finances are not good for me right now. Ex has moved across the country, and the only money that for sure is coming in, for him, is Military retirement which is not much; as of right now VA Disability and SSDI have not been approved yet. I am not gainfully employed yet, though I am applying to jobs literally everyday the only job I've found has been a very part time position that pays minimum wage. If it weren't for my family, I literally don't know how I'd pay bills.

Well meaning friends have messaged, texted, contacted me with talks about the MLM companies that they work for, and while I appreciate it, MLM companies are not for me. It's not that I am against them at all, but there are valid reasons that I am interested in them.

First of all, I suck at selling and recruiting. I have tried MLM before and failed because really, I'm no good at it...and that is fine with me.

Another reason, is the money; there is always a buy in of some sort (again, which is fine and understandable) for items, websites, etc. but I honestly don't have the money to buy into anything right now. When ex cancelled cable on me earlier this week, I found out that it would be $105 to get it back on and into my name. For me, that basically became a choice between buying food for my kids, pets and me, or getting internet (which my kids need for school and I need for job hunting) again. If it weren't for my family, we wouldn't have the internet back on right now. So friends, when I say that I don't the money to "spend money to make money", I am really not exaggerating.

Time....time with my kids and pets is very precious to me now. When I am home with them, I want to be home with them. If they are sick, I want to be able to cuddle them and relax with them, without having to simultaneously be online because of a party that I'm hosting. I am the only real parent my kids have now. I don't have anyone to co-parent with me, or to help out by taking the kids to their sports practices and games when I am exhausted or sick. I don't have anyone who can run home and let the dogs out, so that I can go straight to the gym after my (currently hypothetical) job.

How can you help? Send me leads on jobs in my area, or online jobs with set hours, set pay, and benefits. Help me figure out a way to make money so that I can get my CrossFit Level 1 certification and my personal training certification. Use my website Becca's Bargains when you shop online, and share the website with your friends and family. There's no extra stuff to buy, just shop on Amazon, WalMart, etc as you normally do, just click through my page's shortcuts to get there.

My pets, kids, and I will be okay-that much I know. Right now is just a rough patch, but that's all it is...it's not forever.

Cave

That currently describes how I feel. Yes, I am on anti-depressants and still in therapy. I get up and get my kids to pre-k/day camp Monday-Friday. We even make it to church most Sundays. I haven't worked out in weeks, mostly because of my leg but also because I legitimately worry that I will have a breakdown when I go back there. I miss it, though. And I miss my friends there.

When you have been strong for so long, people assume that you are strong....but you hate to cry and show how broken you are because you don't want to get "the look". I know that you know what I am talking about. That look of pity, or whatever you want to call it. I hate that look, and I know that I have given that look. So I've been in my cave. I snuggle with my dogs and cats, and work on my website (not nearly enough to be honest), and look for jobs. I read books, listen to podcasts, and binge watch Netflix (hello new eps of Pretty Little Liars!) I eat too many carbs, and then regret it.

So next week I will get out of the house and go to the gym, at least twice. I will start my physical therapy so that I can hopefully get back on track to running. I miss running so much; it was my go-to for stress relief and mood improvement. I am determined to get back to myself, but I am also determined to be gentle with myself. Wading through all of the emotions and complexities of divorce, and healing from all of the hurt is A LOT, and I want to make sure that I don't damage myself more in the process.

Life Overhaul

So today, I am starting the 21 Day Fix with a friend of mine. It's a Beach Body Program, but I am not a BB rep nor did I did buy the product. The great thing about the internet is that you can find basically anything for free :) So, I found a calorie calculator for it, some awesome tracking sheets, the measurements for all of the containers, and some recipes. The only thing that I couldn't find were the workout videos, but that's ok since I will be going to CrossFit everyday (the thought of 21 straight of CrossFit is kind of intimidating but whatever, I need it). I'll post before and after results when it's over. Yes, I know that a quick 21 fix isn't a permanent fix, but it's a great jumpstart for me and it will help me to get back into a healthy routine.

Along with getting back on track with eating and working out, I am also giving up alcohol for those 21 days. That is something that really needs to be done because my nightly wine consumption is not helping my waistline or my sleep.

Something else that I am implementing is an actual daily schedule. It's in the planning stages right now, but I know that it will start with me getting up no later than 0700 and going to bed (as in lights out) no later than 2200....now I just have to figure out the detailed parts in between. I need time for chores, errands, cleaning the gym, working out, nap (for the kids), and playing with the kids and dogs. Ideally I'd also like some beach time 3 times a week, too, especially since the summer tourist crowd is thinning. Oh, and once the school year starts there will need to be some time scheduled for homeschooling.

So here's hoping that I can stick with these healthy changes and a daily schedule!

Why Endometriosis and PCOS Suck (aka, why I haven't been able to CrossFit for over a week)

So today is both a whine, an explanation, and a request for any non-surgical, non-hormonal suggestions for treatment.

Background: As discussed in a previous post, I have endometriosis. I was diagnosed with stage 4 endo years ago and have had 2 surgeries for it. My most recent surgery was in early 2013 and the surgeon cleaned out all visible adhesions, as well as a portion of a damaged ovary (I have PCOS as well). I had been on continuous birth control pills for both, but that raised my blood pressure (like to the low end of the high numbers) and caused acne, so I stopped those a few months ago.

Fast forward to this month...it has been not fun at all. Cramps, nausea and fatigue have been around in full affect. And for anyone who tells me that exercise helps menstrual cramps, i'll punch you. Ok, not really; but seriously, menstrual cramps are different from the pain and cramps associated with endometriosis and PCOS. Once those 2 symptoms went away, the fatigue associated with both diseases really set in this month and it has been awful. I mean, I've been so tired that I literally can't think straight and have slightly slurred speech. I've been doing my best at just keeping up with the kids, fur babies and housework, so CrossFit has definitely fallen by the wayside.

Tomorrow, I am determined to get to CrossFit and at least do one WOD and hopefully yoga. I really want to get back to my super, energetic, CrossFit self so if any of my fellow endosisters have suggestions, I am all ears.

Jamberry and Crossfit

Ok, so here is where I talk about Jamberry  and CrossFit and how, for me, they are great and kind of intertwined.

When we decided a couple of months ago that I would be a stay at home mom, I decided to become a Jamberry consultant. Well, life got in the way (sorry for the vagueness, but there are some things I agreed to not share publicly), so I am just now really getting into it. I have been wearing Jamberry wraps and lacquers for MONTHS and really like them! The wraps last, on me, about 10 days (and I am HARD on them-cleaning daily, CrossFit, and going to the beach) on my fingernails and more than 4 weeks on my toenails. The lacquer lasts over 5 days on my fingernails with no chips! Both the wraps and wraps are non-toxic and not tested on animals. Oh yeah, and there are Junior sized wraps for  children or for those with small nails :) Here are some pictures of the wraps that I have personally worn :)

I am looking to add people to my fabulous team and I'm always here to answer questions! Check out Jamberry's awesome lines of wraps and lacquers on my site!

So how does CrossFit play into all of this? Because CrossFit and Jamberry are 2 things that I believe in, and I am willing to sink my money, time, and name into them.  A company of non-toxic, not tested on animals, nail lacquers and nail wraps, that was started by a small group of women? AND that contain SO MANY FREAKING FABULOUS CHOICES?! SIGN ME UP!

As for CrossFit....a little background: At one point in time, I signed up to be a "coach" with another big name fitness program. I did it for the discount on their goods and because one of their programs got me down to a size 4 (I am 5'8") and 132 lbs. I was happy and looked good at that size, but I had to deprive myself of so much (like no alcohol, no bread, no sugar, no beer, and eat less than 1800 cal/day) and do so much cardio to maintain that size. Oh, and I was definitely not strong, not at all. Then came CrossFit, and the reality that I didn't HAVE to be a size 4, or even "skinny" to be awesome. See, previously not named company focuses only on weight loss, not on strength. There I was in my 30s and literally for the first time I started to focus more on the weight I was lifting rather than how much I weighed. I stopped counting calories and started reading labels. I stopped killing myself on cardio machines and started doing WODs that involved AMRAPs with weights and short bursts of cardio. I GOT STRONGER and I got happier. Am I 100% satisfied with how I look? No (and that is a deep rooted issue), but am I 100% satisfied with my workouts, coaches (like, actual in person, certified CrossFit coaches) and CrossFit friends? Yes, yes I am.

My CrossFit girlfriends and I talk about how much we can lift, not how much we weigh. We don't talk about what size clothes we wear, we compare the sizes of our hand callouses. We don't count calories, we count reps, double unders, and how fast we can row 500 meters. You know what all of that means? It means, that we constantly push each other to be stronger. It means that we stick around after WODs to cheer each other on, and to sometimes do another workout. It means that when any of us gets a PR (personal record) on a lift or skill, we ALL celebrate and congratulate.

The 2 paragraphs above, THAT is why I am studying and training to become a Level 1 CrossFit coach, and then a CrossFit Kids coach. I love that I walk into a WOD, and rather than feeling like other chicks are judging me, I feel a sisterhood (good lord that sounds cheesy-I blame the wine). I love that my kids literally cheer me on during some WODs and see mommy getting strong rather than Mommy trying to get skinny. And most of all, I love the personal pride that I feel when I hit a PR, or like this past week when I hit a few PRs. There is literally no greater high for me.

Maniac Monday

In an effort to get myself to blog more, and get the worries on paper and out of my head, I am starting Maniac Mondays on here. I am going to type out every current worry that I currently have, then I will do my best to NOT worry about them for the rest of the week.

Money-Becoming a SAHM has been a bigger financial burden that we originally thought. I know it won't last forever, and it is truly worth it (for many reasons), but it sucks. I am restarting the Dave Ramsey plan and am determined to get us on track. And no, I don't do the couponing thing because honestly, we don't eat many foods that are coupon-able (yes, I made up that word). I *do* shop at a certain grocery store, and utilize the rewards card and all their sales. I could go on and on about money, but if I do then there won't be time for any other worries.

Parenting-I think that every decent parent worries that they are not a good parent. Do they watch too much TV? Am I giving them enough freedom? Do they have too much freedom? Am I too easy on them? Am I too hard on them? Seriously, these are only some of the questions that I ask myself everyday.

Marriage-Relationships are hard, including marriage. I don't care what anyone says, marriage is not easy. Balancing parenting AND marriage is even more difficult and complicated. Worth it? yes. Hard at times? Yes.

Pets-Yes, I worry about being a good parent to our pets. I worry about affording the best food, the best toys, and the best vet care for them. I worry about providing the best life for them, and making sure that they are happy and safe.

Body issues-Every. Single Day. CrossFit is helping but still, I really need to throw away our scale. Speaking of weight, I PR'd my power hang clean last week! I'm now up to 100 lbs :)

Ok, that's it for today. Now I have to get on with my day, including CrossFit.

NIAW-National Infertility Awareness Week

Today is the close of NIAW. I haven't written a specific NIAW blog post in a LONG time, for many reasons...but today I decided to write one.

Dr. Drew recently had a LoveLine episode in which he called endometriosis and IC "garbage bag diagnoses". He did this when a man called in with some concern about his fiancee, and Dr. Drew cut him off before the man could even ask his question. It was a huge reminder to me that many people, even so called doctors, do not understand endometriosis, and don't view it as a real problem. So people of the interwebz, here is my story about living with endometriosis (and PCOS because I have both, and I suspect that Dr. Drew doesn't believe that PCOS is a real disease, either).

From the time I first got my period, I lived in excruciating pain for the few days before, and the first few days during my period. I also got horrible pain during the middle of my cycle. My periods were any where from 7 days to 14 days long, and were extremely heavy. They never came at regular intervals, NEVER. I missed school regularly because I physically could not get out of bed. This pattern continued until I was 18 yrs old and was put on birth control pills.

Once i started taking birth control pills, symptoms improved for several years, but the symptoms were not gone. It took years of experimenting with different birth control pills to finally find one that helped. Periods were still VERY heavy, and still painful, but at least the mid cycle pain was lessened. I still missed class and work because of the pain of cramps, and general pain that went all the way to my knees, my lower back, and into my pelvic region. There was pain during and after sex. I became light headed due to pain and anemia due to heavy periods. In short, it was awful.

By the time I was almost 31 yrs old, I had met the love of my life and we decided to start trying to get pregnant. I did the responsible thing and went to a doctor to get a pre-baby making work up. This was the first time I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), and also the first time that endometriosis was ever mentioned as a possibility. Since the time I started seeing a gynecologist, no one had mentioned anything being wrong with me. All previous doctors told me that my symptoms were normal, and that some women just had "worse" periods than others. Hearing PCOS and endometriosis was like a kick to the chest. That doctor also told me that realistically, I would not get pregnant without help. I was not even 31 yrs old yet, I wasn't old....I was broken.

Over the next 5+ years, we went through treatments for infertility...all failed. We tried timed intercourse with infertility meds-both pills & injectables; 5 IUIs with pills & injectables; 1 fresh IVF; and 1 FET. Nothing worked. Before we had IUIs, I had surgery to look at my insides and was diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis, that was in 2009. I cried. I developed moderate-borderline severe OHSS during one of the IUI cycles. The injectable medications for IVF left me with extra weight, what seems to be a permanent belly pooch, and while i was taking them, a had a bruised stomach, crazy mood swings, and hot flashes.

In 2012, after enduring daily pain for over a year and numerous ruptured ovarian cysts, I had a second laparoscopic surgery. A huge cyst burst during surgery and I lost part of one ovary. The doctor also removed numerous endometrial adhesions, including some around my bowels. After surgery, I was on basic bed rest for almost a week due to pain. It was not something I look forward to dong again, but it WILL be something that I have to go through again...because a year after that surgery, my symptoms came back again. I tried birth control pills, but I couldn't take the weight gain, acne, and migraines. So for now, I eat a low gluten diet (it helps decrease my symptoms), avoid soy (other than the tasty edamame at our fave sushi place), and exercise regularly (love my family at CrossFit Above The Bar). My husband and I have 2 beautiful children (through kinship adoption), 5 large rescue dogs, and 2 crazy cats-my life is full and wonderful....but I still have not come to grips with the fact that I will never have a use for newborn clothes in our house, or experience breast feeding or a pregnant belly.

So Dr. Drew, no-endometriosis is not a garbage bag diagnosis and endometriosis IS pathological. It is an actual disease, with actual consequences, and actual symptoms. It causes real pain and real health issues. For you to say, to millions of listeners, that it is not real, is a lie.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall.....

Me on the right, 115 lbs, about 20 yrs ago (age 17-18)

Me-winter 2011 in Colorado Springs, 135 lbs, size 4

Me-May 2012, about 135 lbs, size 4 (after a Spartan race)

Me-10 mos ago, about 140 lbs, size 6

Me-last summer (?), no idea of weight or size

Me-Sept 2013, about 145 lbs, size 8? (not sure)

Me-March 2014, 150 lbs, size medium in workout clothes (no idea of my number size)

This is likely to be a long, rambling post about my personal body image issues....not sure what the point is, except that I feel like I need to get it out.

First of all, the fact that I am posting that last picture...I hate that picture. But, in order to write about body image, I need to share that with anyone who is reading this. I am currently about 150 lbs and am 5'8.5" tall. My measurements are 39-I don't know (really, I don't....I hate measuring my waist)-41. I love my breasts and hips, but the rest...not so much.  The fact is, I have never really been 100% happy with me body. Yes, there are times I have felt more attractive, sexier, more confident but I have never felt 100% confident, not even last summer when I was rocking that green striped bikini. 

I have struggled with body image since at least junior high; of course back then, I was too skinny and was frequently told that I needed to eat more (I ate A TON of food), and was asked if I had an eating disorder. My breasts and hips were basically nonexistent, in a sea of girl friends who had at least some curves. I was 115 lbs, tall, lanky, and had trouble finding clothes that would fit properly. 

Around age 20, all of that changed. Within a month, I grew half an inch, my bra size increased by 2 cup sizes, and I put on 5+ pounds. It was like I had finally hit puberty! I liked my new curves, but was still not happy with my body or my looks. Of course, a lot of that had to do with the severe cystic acne that I was dealing with as well. Thankfully, no one was ever rude to me about that, but I still have scars on my face and I can still very well remember how awful my skin was, and how much it physically hurt. Thank God for accutane, that cleared everything up in 3 months. Even after it cleared, I was still self conscious, and still styled my hair in ways to cover portions of my face (far framing layers were a godsend). To this day, I will not even go to the gym without wearing at least some make-up. 

In my 30s, I battled infertility and lost. My husband and I went through 5+ yrs of treatments, from clomid and timed intercourse, all the way to IVF and then FET. The treatments ravaged my body and spirit. I gained over 20 lbs (and losing weight is not easy when you have PCOS and endometriosis), became depressed, and felt like nothing was in my control. (During this time, my husband deployed for a year and we adopted 2 children via kinship care, so stress was HIGH.) I turned to exercise and dieting, in a big way. I would come home from work and do 60-90 minutes of cardio exercise DVDs. I restricted caloric intake, at one point was eating only 1400 calories per day. I lost the weight, and was a size 4 for the first time in years!!! I was thrilled and was determined to keep off the weight after my husband returned...of course, that didn't happen because maintaining a weight of 132-135 lbs meant that I could not eat my favorite things or enjoy beer very often. I also was not strong at all...enter CrossFit. 

My husband and I started doing the CrossFit WODs that were posted on the main CrossFit site, and I started trail running. I trained for a Spartan race, and finished it :) Soon after, we PCS'd (Military talk for the Army made us move) to Florida and by then I was recovering from a torn meniscus from not squatting properly during thrusters. I didn't do any real formal exercise for several months, well other than DVDs and then occasional running. Then, we joined a local CrossFit box, and I fell in love with the sport and the culture. 

As I am sure you have noticed, I have not lost weight while doing CrossFit....and deep down, I am ok with that fact. My diet has not been the best, and I have had some injuries (not CrossFit related) over the past year that have prevented me from working out consistently at times. But guess what? 

I can dead lift 140 lbs.

I can back squat 105 lbs and front squat 80 lbs.

I can bench press 95 lbs.

I can power clean 100 lbs. 

I can clean & jerk 85 lbs (that is AFTER a shoulder injury that sidelined me from lifting for about 5 months). 

Those are the weights I am training myself to concentrate on now. I will never be 135 lbs again. I will never be a size 4 again. And that is okay. Being healthy, strong, and enjoying life is more important than a label in a pair of jeans, or a set of numbers on a scale. (I remind myself of that every singe day...maybe one day it will stick.)

What the What

I withdrew B, our kindergartner from school. I had many issues with the school, the last one being that they lost her this past Friday and no one could tell me where she was for over 15 minutes. Outwardly, I was calm, but inside I was freaking out....how in the hell could they not know where a 5 year girl was?!

Now I am all "WTH WAS I THINKING?! HOW CAN I HOME SCHOOL HER?!" I want to do this, and I am committed to doing this, and my husband is supportive, and I have A LOT of friends who are providing me with resources....but wow, it is intimidating. It's so intimidating, in fact, that I ordered Homeschooling for Dummies and I will be reading it cover to cover starting tomorrow.  A friend also reminded me that natural things, such as shopping, can be teaching moments so I am trying to remind myself that I can make everything into learning moments. I know that this is best for her, I just have to figure out how to do it and how to make everything work.

I thought that staying at home would make me feel less like I was being pulled in a million directions, but truthfully I still feel pulled in a million directions. What's changed is that these new directions are all home/family/CrossFit related, so I feel passionately about all of them, which is both wonderful and trying. Adding to this is my trying to go green and save money on things...so yeah, I am feeling majorly pulled in so many directions.

So what's my plan you might ask? Well, I am taking this week to figure how the homeschool stuff, so no formal homeschooling this week. I will go to my local CrossFit box  every day for the rest of this week (so that will be 4 WODs and 2 yoga classes) and eat healthy so that I feel better and think more clearly. I will NOT freak out about B and home schooling at the moment, because that won't be productive and will just cause me to want to drink a case of pinot noir.

This gets easier, right? *sigh*

This job is so easy....

said no stay at home mom, EVER. Seriously, I had no idea how exhausting this would be. Don't get me wrong, I am NOT complaining at all-I am incredibly thankful to be able to stay home-but dear sweet baby Jesus, this is tiring. Today I slept in and our girl was almost late to school, so starting Monday this is how my schedule will look:

0530-Wake up with my husband, get his coffee going and get him out the door to work. Once he's gone, drink some coffee while I do my daily cleaning: sweep all floors, dust all rooms, empty dishwasher, clean out letterbox, wipe down bathrooms, empty any full trash cans.

0645-wake kids up so I can get B to school by 0750 (though that might change, I'll write about that in a separate post).

0800-0900-Breakfast for J and me, feed dogs & cats, start a load of laundry.

0900-11:15-I work online while J colors, practices his name, & plays with toys (all in the same room with me). Dogs play outside, while I pray that none of them escape the yard, AGAIN.

11:15-12:00-Lunch for J and me :)

12:00-14:00-Nap/quiet time for J while I answer email, watch House of Cards (or The Good Wife), play with dogs, deal with more laundry, clean up from lunch.

14:00-Leave home to pick up B from kindergarten.

14:30-15:45- Kids play & have snack (they totally miss each other during the day <3).

15:45-17:30-Make it to the 16:00 CrossFit class (except on Tues, I go to the 13:45 yoga class, then this CrossFit class), then hangout until the 17:30 class.

18:00-20:30-Homework with B, supper (for us and fur kids), bath time (for the kids), bed time routine and tuck them in by 20:30.

20:30-22:00-Finally have some alone time with my husband, then bed.


So now my friends, you see why I don't return calls/texts/emails/messages in a timely manner. I love y'all-i really do-but I am trying to figure out a routine that works and that allows me to pursue a flexible career in CrossFit and nutrition. *sigh* Send vodka, please.

So yeah, I heart CrossFit

That's me, in the green shirt, conquering my fear of heights.

I thought that I might as well go ahead and get this post out of the way because much of my time these days, and in the future, will revolve around CrossFit. What is CrossFit you might ask? Basically, it is a fitness program that focuses on functional movements and improving overall functional fitness. Everyday our workout changes (there are even WODs, workout of the day, posted on the main CrossFit page). We do things like rope climb, run, row, lift weights, flip tires, and generally have fun.

What brought me to CrossFit? Well, I got tired of exercising on my own and not getting the results that I wanted. I was lifting, but wasn't increasing enough. I was skinny, a size 4, but I was not strong. So I looked up CrossFit online and starting doing WODs on my own, and without a coach to watch me, I ended up with a torn meniscus. Fast forward about 6 months, we had moved to Florida and I found a CrossFit box that was affordable, had a kids' area, and was close to our home. We visited once and LOVED it. The head coach is former military, there are folks of all ages and fitness levels, and there are plenty of women members. Oh, and the coaching is GREAT-small classes at least 1 coach (usually 2) in each class, and lots of personal attention.

I have been at it for a year now, off and on (I've had a surgery & 2 non-CrossFit injuries that required time off), and I still love it. I have NEVER stuck with a fitness program this long. I have increased all of my lifts, my rowing has improved (I cannot run right now), I can climb a freaking rope(!) and my self esteem has improved. I've made friends who are like family to me. I love it so much, that I plan to become a certified CrossFit coach. We recently added yoga to our box so now I'll be doing that 3 times a week, too.

So now that I have that CrossFit love fest out of the way, what do you do to stay healthy/exercise?

Where do I begin...

I am jumping back into the blogging world after years away from it. It wasn't you, blogging world, it was me. Life got way too busy-working full time, moving across the country, being a Mommy, and attending to our 7 fur babies. Quite frankly, I didn't have much time for anything....but now that has changed.

As of last week, I am officially a SAHM. Wow, I cannot believe that I actually get to say that...I am a stay at home mom. For the past 20 years, I have held some sort of job-from working part time at Sears as a high school senior, to (most recently) working full time as a program manager for a non-profit. The most recent job was taking me away from family too much, and since my husband's job is not traditional and he does not work "normal" hours/shifts, it all became too much. The strain was evident in our marriage and in our kids, especially in our kindergartener-she needs more individual help with school than I was able to give while working full-time.

So here I am, a new stay at home mom to a kindergarten daughter, B, and a 4 year old son, J, and guardian of our 5 crazy dogs and 2 scheming cats. There is truly never a dull day in our home, and now I finally have time to share those stories (and others) again.